Innocence

Ok, so I've definitely been neglecting my blog again. Sorry, life just gets away from me sometimes. Anyway, I've been toying a lot with the idea of innocence and at what point in life we actually lose our innocence. Because you know as a littld kid you believe everyone can do no wrong and that your going to live in a house made of gummi bears someday and well, you know, all of those silly things little kids still believe are possible. But at what point do we cross over from believing the best in everyone, to believing the worst?
For me I think the 15th year of my existence is the year that I lost my innocence. Both in literal ways and metaphorical ways. It's the year my entire life changed, and for the most part, not for the better. That's the year I learned that Disney movies were misleading and there is no such thing as happily ever after. It's the year that my all american family fell apart and I knew things were never going to be the same.
Well, I knew from then on things were different. Even though my parents tried to work things out, it just all seemed fake in my eyes. I no longer believed in love or had any faith left in the institution of marriage. Well, this past year everything finally fell apart for good. And sometime soon my parents will finally be legally divorced.
Now, I hate the things that have happened, and I wish things could have happened differently. However, I look at my mom these days and I realize she is happier now than she has been in a very long time. And so am I.
So even though that was a rough year for me, and this past year has been even more rough, I realize that everything really does happen for a reason. Although, I do believe that Disney movies suck for filling young girls heads with unattainable ideas of love and "happily ever after".

Clarity

There are certain things in the world that give you a few moments of clarity. Things that put life into perspective for you and make you remember how lucky you are. One of those things for me is spending time with my best friend Lindsey. Just talking to her makes me feel better. She always knows how to make me feel better and is always very blunt when I need an opinion or advice. I love that about her! We were talking tonight about how we can go for a week or even longer without talking and yet we still remain close friends. And that's how its supposed to be. But we both know, even if we haven't talked for a while, that we are only a phone call or text away and we'll be there for each other no matter what. I am extremely thankful to have someone like her in my life and I'm grateful that she can give me some clarity in my hectic moments of life. :)

Moments...

Do you ever have moments where you almost hyper-ventilate because your thinking about the future, all of the responsibilities you have, and everything your supposed to do with your life...well I had one a little bit ago. Actually I had a major meltdown about some of those things a couple of days ago, I avoided that this time but it still stresses me out sometimes.

I'm trying to sort out my student loans (which just thinking about makes me cringe). I'm also in the process of car shopping. Which, by the way, I can't get a car loan until I get my student loans figured out...it's a frustrating circle.

Anyway, I'm realizing those moments are probably going to become more frequent now in the real world. Because now I don't have an excuse, I can't say well I'm still in school so I don't have to worry about that stuff yet. But I guess I knew I would be dealing with this stuff so it shouldn't be a surprise, but it still isn't fun.

Ah....the real world has begun to sink in.

I finally did it

Well, again I've neglected my blog for too long...so long that my best friend told me I had to get on here. lol But I've been gone for a great reason, I'll give you one guess...

That's right, I'm finally a college graduate!!

I never thought this day would actually come, yet here it is. I'm sitting with about 450 fellow graduates listening to someone drone on about something none of us are listening to because all we want to do is walk across that stage, take a few pictures and then get the heck outta there!

It's an amazing feeling to know that I am finally done with school unless I choose to go back (which I probably will). However, it's also a scary feeling that now I actually have to face life as a true adult. Life working full-time, no more loafing around at school wasting time. It's all business form here on out. That's scary as hell to me!

But I also realize, this is what I've been preparing for. This is why I went out an found a more suitable job that would be full-time after graduation. This is why I've been becoming more responsible with money and life in general. This is what the last 16 years of school has been preparing me for...whether that 16 years actually got the job done or not is now the question. But I realize that I can't stay in school, training for the real world and life, forever. That's not how it works. At some point I'm going to have to dip my toes in the water and test it out. Then I'll just have to take a few steps back, get a running start and take a flying leap into that ocean called life.

But in the mean time, I'm going to enjoy simply testing the waters and just seeing where things lead from there. I like where I am right now. I enjoy my job for now, I like where I'm living, and I have some of the greatest friends I could ever ask for, new and old.

So now begins a new adventure...one I'm totally new to. I've never not been in school, so we'll see how this real world stuff goes and just enjoy the ride.

It's been a while

Well, it's been a while since I last posted anything. And it's been a very busy while to say the least. I spent about a week in New Orleans for the International American Marketing Association conference. Which was educational and fun all rolled into one.

These are the bright, shiny faces of the people that went. We won 3 awards and 3rd place for a AMA Saves Lives video. So even though we are a fairly small school we still do well for ourselves.

I'm also busy studying for finals and preparing for graduation, which is under 2 weeks away! It's been kinda nice not to have to worry about finding a job anymore though, takes some of the pressure off. My grandparents are coming up the week before graduation which is awesome because I don't get to see them as much as I would like.

I guess I'm realizing that for the first time in over 16 years I won't be going to school...that's a little strange for me. I think I'll miss it. I'm one of those weird people that loved the excitement of going back to school in the fall. I loved shopping for school supplies, registering for classes and the suspense of wondering who was going to be in class with me. I love learning. So I think I'll miss my old friend called school. But maybe someday, sooner than I think, I'll meet up with my old friend again for another round.

Happy Easter!

Well it's already Easter folks! Can you believe it, this year is flying by!! It's a beautiful sunshiny day outside and I've spent it just hanging out with my momma! Love it! Hope everyone else has a wonderful day filled with love too! Oh and a little relaxation can't hurt either! Check out my project for the day!!

Now that's what I call a worthwhile project, and I definitely enjoyed it when I was finished!! :) Happy Easter everyone!

Beginnings

April 1st, the beginning of a new month! Also the beginning of a beautiful spring, the first day of the year the temperature is above 80 degrees. Beginning of a new exercise routine, thanks to the lovely weather I can start getting outside instead of doing indoor stuff! (It's much more motivating!!)

I started the day off by having breakfast with 2 of my best pals from high school, one of which is really prego!! We were only missing one of our group unfortunately! But she was there in spirit. :) This is an old school pick, but I love these girls still!!

I also started reading a new book today. My friend Lindsey, second from the right in the above pic, gave me a book a while back (sorry I haven't read it before now Linds!). It's called Warrior Chicks, well today I started reading it and I definitely know why she gave me this just from the first few pages! So that is my project for the near future, to read this book, work at making myself healthier and happier, and enjoy life for a while. Especially because I will be graduating in 5 short weeks officially! That's a little scary but also freaking AWESOME!! So here's to beginnings, however big or small they might be!